Grace For Here - Grace For There

Soo... I subscribe to Trader's Point Christian Church's podcast...and I LOVE IT!

I am a HUGE fan of Aaron Brockett and God has used his messages in my life on SEVERAL occasions to mold me, change me, and...yikes... convict me!! :-)

The last two Sunday's have been entitled "Grace for Here" and "Grace for There"

I listened to both tonight.

Life. Changing. 

The second message had a testimony from Justin and Trisha Davis and without going into detail they are a BEAUTIFUL testimony of God's grace. Trisha and Justin told their story of God's AMAZING redemptive power in their lives and in their marriage. There were a few things that Trisha said that really hit me...the following is an excerpt from her testimony...

"All God is asking you to do is reach out your hand and He will do the rest.

It will not be easy

It will not be simple

It WILL be messy

But there is a joy that comes from being in the center of God's will

It may not look like how we want it to

It is not a happy-feel-good-joy

It IS a pure joy..of just knowing that you are a child of God

NO matter what kind of mess you are in

Just..be..real"

Trisha's portion of the entire testimony REALLY impacted me. 

Her testimony reminded me of a passage of scripture that I cling to - especially in the past few weeks....

2 Corinthians 12:8-10

"Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me.

But He said to me "My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in weakness"

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weakness so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ then I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

I am learning to be content in and with the hard times.

I rejoice in pain...not only is it character building and refinement but it is an opportunity for Christ to reveal Himself to me in a whole new way. 

Every painful experience I go through will be used to glorify God in some way - and that is beautiful. That...makes...it...WORTH...IT. I am continually getting my mind around that concept...

Jesus,

I want to be like you. Whatever it takes.

ALSO

I am completely captivated by and in love with the fact that God never changes.

He CAN NOT fail at loving me

He CAN NOT hurt me

He CAN NOT walk away from me...ever

He CAN NOT be insensitive to me

He CAN NOT be dishonest towards me

He will ALWAYS fight for me

He will ALWAYS be consistent

He will ALWAYS love me with a pure, and true love

He will ALWAYS be pursuing me

My heart will ALWAYS be important to Him

Being vulnerable with Him is safe

He knows the deepest parts of me....not only does He KNOW them...He CREATED them

I will always...always...always...be good enough for Him

I - am - His - and - He - is - mine

"When You build, it feels like You tear me apart

When You heal, it always leaves a scar

Even when You fill, You leave me with a beggars heart"

.::On Christ the solid rock I stand::.

Jesus when You build, it feels like you tear me apart - when You heal it always leaves a scar

You're all I want 

You're all I need

You're everything...

This video needs no explanation...if you've been there...it will hit your core...and I'm not even going to pretend that there are words for that.

 If you haven't been there...pray for someone you know who has because I can promise you that the pain is still real.

*Luke 7:47* Thank you, Jesus. Thank you. YOU. ARE. GOOD. I. AM. VALUABLE. 

Do you ever have those days where God is SHOUTING at you all day? Today was one of those days.

I love it...because 

I can't analyze it. 

I can't question it. 

I can't pick it apart. 

I can't doubt it.

I can't over think it 

.....I just know that He is speaking directly to me and by His grace giving me the ability to understand what He is saying. With that comes confidence.

I can't even really articulate all that He talked to me about...so...snippets will have to do.

1) 1 Corinthians 1:26-31 > God is attracted to weakness. Because that is desirable? ugh. no. Because when I am weak, broken, and empty of myself...He has room to move in, take over, and work!

2) The name "Esther" comes from the Hebrew word str with means "to conceal" - IT WASN'T ABOUT HER GOOD LOOKS! Imagine that! We ladies have such a love/hate relationship with beauty...and even with Esther (the KNOWN beautiful woman of the Bible) it was NOT about that. Girls...shoot...this struggle goes all the way back to then...time for us to face it head on. You think it's a coincidence that God created her physically beautiful as well?...NO! It was what was hidden UNDER her good looks that fulfilled her destiny NOT her beauty! God is cool..eh?

3) You can not amputate your history from your destiny. God wants to use it. You can't become who God wants you to be without your HISTORY. In Jeremiah 29:11 the word "future" has the exact same root as the word "past". My past...and my future...your past...and your future...have the same root. Christ turns history into a God-granted future. Dwelling on or staying in the past is sin because we have victory in Christ - but LEARN FROM IT! We try to destroy all evidences and erase all memory of where we've been or what we've done...when in reality...we wouldn't be where we are RIGHT NOW if it weren't for that past....

4) Colossians 2:10 - "and in Him you have been made complete and He is the head over all rule and authority" - I am whole because He has made me that way. END of STORY. I am so glad that my completion comes from NOTHING and NO ONE PERSON on this earth but from Him.

5) Song of Solomon 7:10 - "I am my beloved's and His desire is for me" - God is romantic...and that rocks my world.

6) I have kind of decided that there is no sense in talking to people about their priorities...after a little observation of a persons actions, their priorities reveal themselves. I have no scriptural backing for that...yet.

"God loves you. Personally. Powerfully. Passionately.

Others have promised and failed.

God has promised and succeeded.

He loves you with an unfailing love.

His love - if you will let it - can fill you

and leave you with a love worth giving"

- Max Lucado

"YOU

ARE

MY

PORTION"

SAYS 

MY

SOUL

<3

A lesson being learned...

Because all I've got

and all I am

and all my dreams

and all my plans

I'm holding back...I'm holding nothing back from You

I surrender it all

I lay it before You

For all of my days

I'll give You the glory

You caused me to see

My heart is divided

So take all of me

Because I have decided...

...That all I've got

and all I am

and all my dreams

and all my plans

I'm holding back...I'm holding nothing back from You

My heart and my soul

I give You control

Consume me from the inside out, Lord

Let justice and praise

Become my embrace

To love You from the inside out

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all things

And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise

From the inside out

Oh, my soul cries out

My heart and my soul

I give You control

Consume me from the inside out, Lord

Let justice and praise

Become my embrace 

To love You from the inside out

Everlasting, 

Your light will shine when all else fades. Your glory goes beyond all things. The cry of my heart is to bring You praise from the inside out Lord my soul cries out.

<3

I want to hide what's deep in my eyes....I'm scared to be known by You

El Roi - "The God Who Sees Me"

In my recent, hunt and peck, random study of the names of God...I stumbled once again across this beautiful, one time thing.

Hagar, an egyptian slave...encountered God in the desert and called him "El Roi"..."The God who sees me"...notably this is the only occurrence of El Roi in the Bible (Genesis 16:13-14) This God, El Roi, is the God who numbers the hairs on our heads, knows our thoughts before we speak them, and knows our past, present, and future. When we cry out to El Roi...we are crying out to the God who knows everything about us...

Genesis 16:1-16

A little history...Sarai, Abrams wife had not had any children but she had an egyptian slaved named Hagar so she said to Abram "Go sleep with Hagar...perhaps you will have children by her because the Lord has kept me from having children.." Abram agreed - Hagar conceived - Sarai got mad - Sarai mistreated Hagar - Hagar ran away.

In the desert, the angel of the Lord found Hagar and basically asked her what was up. She said she was running away from Sarai. The Angel told her to go back and submit to her mistress......WWWHHHAATTTTTT?!?...wait...it gets better...The angel basically told her that her son was going to be a jerk.."he will be a wild donkey of a man, his hand will be against everyone and everyones hand against him and he will live in hostility toward all his brothers.".....ggrrreeatttt right? BUT there was a promise (because God is GOOD!)...the angel said "I will so increase your descendants that they will be too numerous to count."

Hagar returned to her mistress (wow!) beacause she KNEW God....El Roi...the God who sees us...woah!... God, do I trust you this blindly?

You know what ELSE is interesting?..It seems that no one cared enough about Hagar and her unborn child enough to try and track her down...no one but El Roi that is...

Alone. Impoverished. Pregnant. There is NO worse nightmare for a woman...and yet Hagar discovered she WAS NOT alone...She had El Roi, the God who saw her...the God who sees US!

No wonder she was able to return to Sarai and Abrams house...She knew the God who sees her...She actually said..."I have seen the God who sees me!"

El Roi..a God so watchful that He is said to note even when the smallest sparrow falls to the ground...this is the God who watches over ME today, whether or not I recognize His presence. He's aware that often times I find myself in desolate places and in those places He is NEAR- pursuing me, wanting me, helping me find a path THROUGH the troubles, and working out a plan for my future (Jeremiah 29:11)

I am almost overcome by the primary realization that El Roi WANTS to see me..He really does want me. That's the reality that my insecure, fearful, self-condemning heart has the hardest time absorbing. God...wants...me. He doesn't need me. He wants me. Why? Because God wants me...you..us...here...now...always...

Isn't that afterall what I need to know the most? In the deepest, most hidden parts of my heart...don't I yearn most of all to know that I am wanted? And by someone who REALLY knows me? Who isn't faked-out by my relationship with Christ or put off by my carnal tendencies? Someone who won't change his mind about me and bale out on me..no matter WHATS in my future?

I am wanted. By a God with very expensive tastes. He paid the greatest possible price to meet with me. I don't want to miss Him for the world.

Lord, I praise You for You know the whole story. From beginning to end You see it all. Give me the humility to admit my limitations. I don't always see the past accurately, my vision of the present is often blurred and confused, and I am blind when it comes to my future...Help me to fasten my eyes on you, trusting in Your beautiful vision for my life and in your watchful care....I want to know You, El Roi.

My thoughts on worship in the wilderness...

Hebrews 4:16

"Let us then approach the throne of Grace with confidence. So that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

In and about his daily work, Moses headed off with his sheep to the wilderness...he came to the "mountain of God" Horeb. There he saw the angel of the Lord in the blazing bush that burned but wasn't consumed. Moses didn't try and talk himself out of seeing something miraculous. Instead he said "I must turn aside now and see this marvelous sight, why is the bush not burned up?"

And in this turning aside, in his pausing in the wilderness, Moses encountered the living God, the God he'd spent forty years trying to grasp, the God who had delivered him from an angry king. Now deliverance came in another form, a deeper manner. Through worship, the burning heart of God took up resident in Moses' chest, and God's passion ignited him. He still had questions but worship transformed the refugee, prince, and murderer into a mighty leader!

God's demand on Pharoah holds for us as well "Let my people go so that they may worship me in the desert" (Exodus 7:16) All of life will conspire to keep us from worship but our choice, or freedom decision in the wilderness is to worship and worship gives birth to freedom.

We give our anxieties far too much time...and God far too little time. Reversing the system and realigning our priorities diminishes the anxiety. When we worship God in spite of the evidence that our life is a wreck, that our neat little world is swirling around under us...even though it's the most countercultural form of obedience we will muster. God comes near.

Worship intends to bring you into relationship with the One who created you and gave you life...the One who has provided your salvation and who promises to stand by you forever (Praise You Jesus!)...this is no small purpose or modest agenda. It may take a wilderness to thrust us into that place of relationship, and dependence. 

Why worship in the near-desperation of the desert? easy...because God deserves it. We direct our souls to God because of His glory. Not because our life is peachy and perfect but because the One who loves us is Holy, compassionate, all powerful, all present, wonderful, all knowing. His hopes and dreams for us are beyond our most creative imaginings! We worship because in all the chaos and insanity of life, our heart longs for someone to hold us and guide us through the blind alleys of life. We have that someone in our Savior.

"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens" Psalm 68:19

Worship also brings perspective. The scriptures tell us "Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10) and in worship we realize anew that "I can't be God here...I can't POSSIBLY figure this out..." We worship because of God's goodness to put us into a place of trust where He can deliver.

Miraculously, here again, God does this paradox thing...we give and He gives back abundantly. Worship according to the Scriptures gives strength. Notice the order of Psalm 29...the writer says..." Ascribe to the Lord glory (v.1)" and proceeding from that rightful praise, "The Lord gives strength to His people. The Lord blessed them with peace (v.11)."

In the emptiness of the desert...Praise is the secret to fullness. (Psalm 63:18)

To my audience of One

You are Father and You are Son

As Your spirit flows free

Let it find within me

A heart that beats to Praise You

and now just to know You more

has become my great reward

To see Your kingdom come

and Your will be done

I only desire to be Yours, Lord

Dance...even if no on else can hear the music

"God did not give us a spirit that makes us afraid but a spirit of power and love."

2 Timothy 1:7

"He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it."

Philippians 1:6

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His great power."

Ephesians 6:10

When I was little...Ben, Emily, Arthur, Alicia and I would all play hide n' seek in the trees behind our house. I can still remember hiding inside the large pine tree in the back right corner and hearing the seekers walk past. I would hold my breath and try not to do anything that would reveal my presence and get me caught.

Safety...was knowing that they'd gone to another location and never even knew I was there.

When I have been afraid in life, I have played this same game in my head. "Where can I hide until this is over? Where can I go so that no one will know that I'm not brave?"...Sometimes...I'm mad about times that I have lived like a "wallflower" and other times...from fear...it's been my conscious own choosing...Why is it that I sometimes choose to be this way?

Maybe...I've been noticed then rejected?..so I decide that fading into the background would spare further pain...maybe I have felt present but unoticed...seen but unknown. My Abba sees me...I am not a careless glance to Him and He is enthralled by my beauty..really...and truly.

The Betsy of a few years ago carried this childish game of hide n' seek into adult life. The old me stood alone in the shadows. Giving up, going away, stuffing the pain of betrayal and abuse...Now I can stand inside the arms of God, looking out at the great big life ahead and feeling safe and secure. I have become brave in His arms...sure of His love...convinced of His faithfulness. I am a woman who used to struggle with intense fear, insecurity, and doubt...and now I can stand in righteous confidence...all because I learned to dance with El Roi...the God who sees me....The God who has seen and BEEN THERE for every step and moment of my past, is in my present, and alone knows my future.

Just in case it's been awhile since you have danced...let me remind you of how it goes...

Since the day we were born...God has been passionately in love with us..inviting us to dance the dance of our life in His arms...God doesn't call us FROM nothing INTO nothing. His invitation calls us into life...Enter into His promises and DANCE. Christ has come so that we may have LIFE and have it ABUNDANTLY.

Respond to God's invitation with your LIFE (Isaiah 55:6)...Run into the arms of God and let His love embrace you...Let His love hold you close.

A few years ago...God stepped into the deep shadows of my broken life and said to me "May I have this dance?"...it took me weeks...and every bit of courage I had...to take the hand of my distant love and say "I'd love to..."

As soon as the words left my heart God took me into His loving arms...the place I had been longing to be..and wrapped me with His safe and secure love. A distance sound became a symphony of music that stirred my soul..and before I know what was happening I, who thought I never could, began to dance. As time went on fear took over..because I realized I didn't know any of the steps...immediately I realized that it was ok because He was leading...I just needed to follow.

Of course I wondered if anyone was watching...and many were because a woman held by God is captivating..this dance makes her feel beautiful. The dance of my life with God IS beautiful...everything I had always dreamed it would be. I am safe. He is strong. I have been noticed. I have been chosen. I have been loved. I finally look out from the arms of God and realized how a broken woman becomes brave.

More than anything...I hope YOU dance...

Beautiful <3

Beauty - a lot of girls, my self included, wonder what beauty is..and I think I might be getting my mind around it...

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
In America, beauty is deathly skinny, perfectly tanned skin, and the willingness to show it off.
In Uzbeckistan, beauty means a unibrow and golden teeth.
In China...beauty is breaking your feet and wrapping them so they are incredibly small.

How are young girls supposed to know what true beauty is??...God's Word is truth..so that's where we should look...

Beauty is...

honesty
modesty
mystery
trustworthiness
love
compassion
joy
strength
faithfulness
knowing when to say no
humility
guarding your heart
mercy
self respect
purity

Americas definition of beauty does not last beyond a certain age and the havoc of a few children on our bodies....

I have heard sooo many girls say recently that they feel like guys, even "good guys" choose girls that will show it off...that is sadly true sometimes...but this IS NOT the case for ALLLLL guys. Ladies! we can't stereotype them, we can't blame America's skewed definition of beauty on them. They are victims in this...THIS view of beauty is just as hard on their minds as it is on ours. Think about it, our media is force feeding their minds the beautiful bodies of airbrushed women on a daily basis. My heart breaks for my brothers in Christ, and my future husband...whose hearts are bombarded with temptation on a daily basis. I am so burdened to pray for men and the protection of their hearts but also to pray for these women who are selling out and using their bodies for empty fulfillment. It is such a tragedy!

God gave women power..womens bodies are beautiful...and that's a seriously powerful thing...this is a treasure that needs to be guarded!!! We should captivate men by how much we respect ourselves...not by how intoxicating our bodies are. Let's wash our make up off..and be beautiful because our heart is so beautiful that it radiates out of us....lets treasure ourselves just as God treasures us...:-) I wanna be lost in Jesus.

Here's what our amazing Creator has to say about beauty...Psalm 31:30 " Charm is deceitful, and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised."

I think that pretty much sums it up.

hmm...I think that tomorrow I am not going to wear make up, put on my plainest and most comfortable outfit...and marvel in the fact that I am still considered beautiful by my creator :-)



For My Love - Bethany Dillon

Walk towards me
I want to hear the heavens singing over you
When you breathe and look at me
I want to be captured by you
Gaze into my eyes and let me know you’d fight thousands, for my love
Slip your hand in mine
Ask me to dance with you tonight
Just ask me for my love

I want to hide
What’s deep in my eyes
I’m scared to be known by you
But when I turn my head and see you there
I want to be pursued
Gaze into my eyes and let me know you’d fight thousands, for my love
Slip your hand in mine
Ask me to dance with you tonight
Just ask me for my love

A dream I won’t wake from
A story that will never end
The ground your feet walk on
Let me be there, let me be there
Gaze into my eyes
Let me know you’d fight thousands, for my love
Slip your hand in mine
Ask me to dance with you tonight
Just ask me for my love
Gaze into my eyes
Let me know you’d fight thousands, for my love
Slip your hand in mine
Ask me to dance with you tonight

Ask me for my love